That time I was a sh***y friend

Sometimes I’m a good friend. Sometimes I’m not. This past Tuesday I was a really sh***y friend to my best friend.

My husband’s birthday was Tuesday and guys… I forgot about it. It was in the back of my mind but for some reason it was not a priority. I didn’t make it a priority. I didn’t even get him a card.

What sort of friend does that?!

I refer to him as my friend and me as his because that’s what we are- we are best friends. We are each other’s person to tell exciting news to and run ideas by and the first person called when something happens. We also happen to share a bed and create beautiful little multiracial children. But friends first and foremost.


And I was a bad friend to him. And because I was a bad friend, I was also by default a sort of bad wife.

Pregnant. Cranky. Going to a Beyoncé concert over the weekend. Running after a very active 1 year old. My head just wasn’t in the right place.

It’s not about how much a person spends on a gift, it’s about the intentions and thoughts behind it. I’ve always given thoughtful gifts to my husband. I’ve always made a big deal about our special days: birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays. Heck, even St. Patty’s day in our house is special. But this birthday? I dropped the ball guys.

He didn’t seem to care too much but the realization of what I did or in this case, didn’t do, completely weighed me down. I knew I messed up. I didn’t want this to be the precedent for all other birthdays and holidays.

Wednesday morning (the day after his birthday) a message found me: “always treat your partner like you’re dating. Make them feel special.” Messages always seem to find us when we need them most. So yesterday I got my act together and thought of my husband for who he is and what he means to me.

An amazing husband who works relentlessly to provide for his family. An incredible father who makes time for his child. A man who rubs my belly and gives massages and is quite literally one of the best people I know. Those sweet thoughts gave me butterflies and fueled my day.


I cooked and baked up a storm yesterday. Made his favorite foods:




Southwest egg rolls with Avocado ranch for dipping


Poppyseed strudel


(A delicious but lumpy) Chocolate cake


I picked wild flowers.


Handmade a card.


And made the big deal out of his birthday that it is!

My world is better because he is in it. I have to make sure to remember to show him that through actions and words.


We are going on 5 years of marriage. In order to make the rest of our lives enjoyable, we promise to treat each other like we’re dating. And I promise to not forget another birthday! Now here’s to hoping he doesn’t forget mine 😂

-Sonni K



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