Ready or not: pregnancy round 2

Farmhouse living has been kind to us. We started a garden, our orchard is growing delicious fruits, and our chickens will start laying delicious eggs soon. Lots of bounty abound!

We even have our own bounty growing!

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I am excited to announce that Baby Kola is going to be a big sister. 🙂 We are having another baby and this time next year we will have a boisterous 2 year old and 6 month old crawling around. I’m pumped for the memories we will create as a family. I’m eager to see baby Kola as a big sister and for her to have a playmate that’s close in age. I look forward to fostering a loving home for my kids and growing in the role of parenthood with my life partner. I’m truly excited and thankful that our family is growing.

Having another baby is a little wild though. Every once in awhile I find myself taken a back by the fact that I am pregnant again. Pregnancy is so many things. I wouldn’t necessarily describe it as beautiful, but it is amazing.

Those who know me, and I mean really know me, know that pregnancy and I didn’t get along the first time around. I was constantly sick, had frequent nosebleeds, heartburn so bad I would cry, saw 3 different specialist throughout my pregnancy, had around .2 nanoseconds of feeling like a goddess, and ended up with preeclampsia and a 17 hr labor.

Before experiencing pregnancy, I thought it would be like the movies, I thought I would glow, I thought I would puke in the morning for a few weeks, and I was convinced I would only gain 25 lbs. 😂 Pregnancy had other plans. It was tough on me. Looking back, I can see now that I was depressed throughout a lot of it. My family was hundreds of miles away, I didn’t feel comfortable talking to my closest friends about it in too much detail because I was the first to experience it (not any fault to them- they were awesome and supportive but I was worried if I talked about it too much I would annoy them), I felt alone, and some days the only time I would leave my couch was to teach a yoga class. Around the second trimester, I became the poster child of pregnancy and did everything I could think of to make the experience more enjoyable. I tried eating right, a smoothie a day, daily exercise, no caffeine, minimum salt, but nothing seemed to help my emotional wellbeing or the fact that I gained around 55-60 lbs. When I got diagnosed with preeclampsia towards the end I was heartbroken and so swollen I could barely walk without my feet feeling like they were being ripped apart. I was convinced I would have postpartum depression after like me mother did when she had me.

But I got really lucky. I made friends in my town who were on the same path as me. We entered motherhood together and became each other lifelines. I am so thankful for the friendships I made because we took care of eachother. We visited each other in the hospital, were among the first to hold one another’s new babies, brought each other the foods we missed most during pregnancy (Jimmy John’s cold cut turkey sandwich for meeee), shared our first postpartum celebratory beer together, and discussed our triumphs, fails, and everything in between on this new journey of motherhood.

Thankfully, I didn’t get postpartum depression. I never felt that bleakness I felt after my delivery that I had during my pregnancy. For all intents in purposes, baby Kola is a great baby. No colic, no reflux, no real issues other than she wants to be held 24/7. She wasn’t a fussy baby, didn’t keep us up at night, and grew like a weed. Don’t get me wrong- she has her moments of “ohemgee, this baby is LOUD or ANGRY” and tantrums but we never got that exhausted feeling that new parents often complain about. I like to think that my body made pregnancy rough on me but that Baby Kola realized it and decided to cut me some slack when she made her debut 😂.

With all that said, I wouldn’t trade my pregnancy for the world. It gave me baby Kola. Right before I got pregnant I was advised by my doctor to not try for awhile for medical reasons. So baby Kola being here and the pregnancy that almost wrecked me? Totally worth it. Without a doubt.

Now… after delivering baby Kola I was on the “one kid and done” train. No way was I putting myself through pregnancy again. My husband understood. He told me from the beginning he would like at least one more but that he understood he wasn’t the one who would have to go through pregnancy. Over the course of a year, my feelings about a second pregnancy didn’t change too much but I did open my heart to baby Kola being a big sister.

Watching Mr. Hungry Yogi with his brothers helped open my heart. They are some of the closest siblings I know. Their love and support for one another is apparent. Mr. Hungry Yogi couldn’t imagine a world where baby Kola doesn’t have that. Some research shows that the closest siblings are in age, the better for their relationship long term (not so much in teenage years but in adulthood) and watching my husband with his brothers aligns with the research. Don’t get me wrong, I know siblings who are not close at all and who can barely stand to be in the same room with each other. But, most of my friends are best friends with their siblings. My sister and I on the other hand, are not best friends but I blame our age difference. We probably won’t hit the friend zone mile marker until she is in her late 20’s or 30’s. I am 12 years older than her and am more of a second maternal figure to her than a sister.

My point with all of that… I knew that if we were going to have another baby, I wanted them close in age. I wanted to at least give them a chance to be close friends. But I still wasn’t sold on having another baby.

With baby Kola, Mr. Hungry Yogi was the one who needed convincing. With new lil’ Kola (y’all like their Internet name!?), I was the one who needed it. So I made a few requirements if we were going to do this. I wanted to be back to pre-pregnancy weight and clothes, I wanted to accomplish something else from my bucketlist, I wanted to be absolutely done with kids before 30 either way.

I got down to pre-pregnancy weight and clothes.

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I ran a marathon which was a big to do on my bucket list.

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I thought long and hard about having a second baby. About being pregnant again. About delivering another baby. When I got married, I wanted four kids. Four! My husband wanted two. We decided to compromise at three. After one pregnancy, I was happy with one but he still really wanted 2. So I decided to give us a little deadline. If we got pregnant within a certain time frame, awesome. If not, we agreed we would close the baby making door and be done with one child. Compromise.

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We’ll it happened. I got pregnant, went through a whirlwind of emotions and am so grateful to be pregnant with our second baby. Morning sickness and all. 😉

Lil’ Kola coming soon. 💓

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And I think baby Kola is ready.

Love,

SK

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